It's natural for newly married couples to spend a lot of time with their in-laws, fostering relationships and building connections with their spouse's extended family. However, when this time becomes overwhelmingly one-sided, with your son seemingly prioritizing his wife's family over his own, it can create feelings of hurt, frustration, and even resentment.

Understanding the Reasons

There could be several reasons why your son spends the majority of his time with his wife's family:

• Proximity and convenience: If they live closer, it might simply be easier to spend more time with them.
• Strong family bonds: Your son's in-laws may have a tighter-knit family, with frequent gatherings or established traditions that are more appealing to him.
• Feeling obligated: If his wife expects him to be very involved with her family, your son may feel obligated to fulfill those expectations.
• Strained relationships: There may be underlying tensions or unresolved issues in your own family dynamic that make him less inclined to spend time there.

The Impact on You

Feeling like your son is choosing his wife's family over yours can be deeply hurtful. These feelings are valid and should be acknowledged. This situation can cause:

• Loneliness: Reduced time with your son and potential grandchildren can create an increased sense of isolation.
• Feeling unappreciated: You might begin to question your role in your son's life and feel unvalued.
• Strain on relationships: This dynamic could potentially strain your relationship with both your son and your daughter-in-law.

Approaching the Situation

Handling this delicate issue requires tact and empathy:

1. Have an honest conversation: Openly express your feelings to your son in a non-accusatory way. Focus on how his choices make you feel rather than placing blame.
2. Seek understanding: Try to see things from his perspective. Does he have reasons for his choices beyond simply preferring his wife's family?
3. Suggest alternatives: Propose regular family activities or times specifically set aside just for your side of the family.
4. Set boundaries: If necessary, let your son know that while you support his relationship with his in-laws, you also need dedicated time with him.
5. Consider family therapy: If communication is difficult or there's unresolved tension, professional guidance can help address underlying issues.

References

• Ask Ann Cannon: My only son always spends Christmas with his wife's family. It's not fair.: https://www.sltrib.com/artsliving/2018/11/25/ask-ann-cannon-my-only/
• [Ask Dr Radha: My sons spend more time with their wives' families than me, how do I tell them I miss them?] (https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/wellbeing/ask-dr-radha-sons-spend-time-wives-families-i-tell-i-miss-103186)

Remember: Every family dynamic is unique. Finding a balance that works for everyone involved takes open communication, understanding, and a willingness to compromise.