We all want to be surrounded by people who support our goals, understand our needs, and act in ways we deem appropriate. However, setting high expectations for how others should behave often leads to disappointment, frustration, and damaged relationships. Here's why it's important to adjust your expectations:

Why We Set High Expectations

• Desire for Control: Expecting others to act a certain way gives us an illusion of control over our environment and relationships.
• Personal Values: We often project our own beliefs and values onto others, assuming they should naturally share our priorities.
• Past Experiences: Positive experiences with reliable and supportive people in the past might set unrealistic standards for everyone else.

The Problems with Expecting "You" from Others

• Everyone is Different: People have unique backgrounds, personalities, and ways of thinking. Expecting them to be carbon copies of ourselves is unreasonable.
• Unrealistic Standards: Setting the bar too high leads to inevitable disappointment. No one is perfect, and people make mistakes.
• Resentment and Frustration: When others inevitably fail to meet our expectations, it can breed resentment within us.
• Communication Breakdown: Instead of expressing unmet needs directly, we might become passive-aggressive or withdraw, damaging relationships.

Shifting Your Mindset

• Embrace Individuality: Appreciate people for who they are, not who you wish them to be. Celebrate their differences instead of trying to change them.
• Focus on Communication: Instead of assuming others should know what you need, communicate your expectations and desires clearly and respectfully.
• Practice Empathy: Try to understand where others are coming from. Consider their perspectives, limitations, and motivations.
• Lower Your Standards (Slightly): Accept that people are flawed and will sometimes disappoint you. It doesn't mean they don't care.
• Take Responsibility: Focus on what you can control – your own reactions and responses – rather than trying to control others.

The Benefits of Letting Go of Expectations

• Improved Relationships: When you stop holding others to rigid expectations, you create space for them to be themselves, fostering stronger, more authentic connections.
• Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Letting go of control and unrealistic expectations significantly reduces stress and promotes inner peace.
• Increased Gratitude: Appreciating people for who they are, flaws and all, cultivates a deeper sense of gratitude for their presence in your life.

References

• Psychology Today - 5 Problems With Expecting Too Much From Others: 
• PsychCentral - Why You Should Stop Expecting So Much from People: 

Remember: Letting go of rigid expectations doesn't mean tolerating mistreatment or disrespect. It means finding a healthier balance between healthy boundaries and accepting others' limitations.